Dating in the New Millennium

Sex in the Woods

Like many of you out there I’m single, over 35 and dating in the new millennium. While I find dating fun & exciting I also find it extremely frustrating; most of the time I feel like I’m in the wood forest all alone. So I’ve been doing what I always do when I find a particular subject frustrating and hard to understand; I head to Barnes & Noble. There are a gazillion books on the “How to’s” of dating. Some of the principles I’ve put into practice and find they work quite well. Others, not so well. Did I mention I’m still single? Still single and still learning…

It all goes back to our basic, primal instincts; men are hunters and women are gatherers. Men find challenge in the hunt, not so much in the capture. Men are after an adventure, a wild ride that lasts for more than a few hours, yes even in dating; especially in dating.

My girlfriend Sophia writes:

“I just made some basic mistakes in my last relationship. We’ll call him Richard. Now, I started out fine playing by the unspoken rules of courtship but, like most women, as soon as he made the ‘I want a commitment statement’ I lost my senses and became more caring, sensitive to his needs, supportive of his hopes and dreams, emotionally dependent; for me=relationship; for him=steel trap! Everything was going fine until I was vocally upset when Richard didn’t call for a few days. I did exactly what I knew not to do; I started every question with either what, where, when, why, how could you… That was the beginning of the end. He was hunting and I was prey until that very moment. Then he knew I was caught so the game was over, (either consciously or subconsciously). It happened again but this time it was six days without a call and over a holiday…I knew Richard would drag me along this way, not wanting to end it totally until he had a replacement, so before I became road-kill, I ended it.”

Richard was good practice and maybe with the next Richard she’ll make it to the next phase, you know, like in Mario!

Take heed ladies! Women tend to not want a challenge. They don’t want to “play games”. Well, if you want your man to hunt you, you must not let him catch you. If he does not have a 100% hold on you, he’ll think of you all day and may even lose sleep thinking of you. Not only will he think of you but he will court you. Richard courted Sophie like nobody’s business until she broke the un-spoken rule.

My brother David just went hunting, as most men in North America did, over the Thanksgiving holiday. He shot a doe and was semi-gleefully walking out of the woods when the proverbial “Big One” appeared through the mist, between the trees. He put Big One in his scope, took a deep breath, said a prayer to God almighty, squeezed the trigger and missed.


Now remember, he killed the doe with no apparent hyperventilating. But the Big One, well David was panting and shaking, his chest was heaving, his palms were sweaty and he was in such a state of euphoria that he couldn’t get a good shot and he missed him. Why did he not hyperventilate over the doe? Because does are always about; they’re in abundance; one is just like the other. But the Big One, well the Big One is elusive. Hunters dream of the Big One. When you look across the breakfast or dinner table at your mate and he’s deep in thought and you ask him “Honey, what are you thinking about?” He’s thinking about The Big One! The Big One dares the hunter to take a shot, “Catch me if you can”. I think sometimes he even winks at the hunter, then slowly sachets away deep into the forest as if saying “Better luck next year”.

And believe me, this same time next year David will still be telling this story. Every detail of the Big One will be forever etched on his brain; right down to how beautiful the white patch of fur was on the front of his neck…Be the Big One ladies; practice being elusive. When the moment isn’t right or when your boundaries are being tested, practice turning away and disappearing into the woods. If he wants you, he will search the woods for you.